Great Expectations

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

This quote is a similar quote to one in The Autobiography of a Yogi.  I am trying to keep it in mind when I get frustrated and annoyed with people.  It is a hard concept to really grab and use though.  They are right. . . I cannot be mad at my husband for not doing the dishes if I don’t expect him to do them, but there in lies the problem.  I really wanted him to do the dishes.

I could feel the anger boiling up in me.  My face stern as I washed those dishes.  He kept stopping what he was doing to see if I wanted him to wash the dishes.  Not now; 2 hours ago, before I got home from work would have been nice.  I nicely told him no thank you and that he could cook himself his egg to go with the dinner he prepared.  I continued to washes dishes and kept reminding myself of the quote above.  He didn’t not wash the dishes to annoy me, or because he hated me, or because he just didn’t feel like it.  He didn’t wash them because he forgot.  We all forget, so how can I be mad at a simple mistake.

I took my seat at the dinning table and calmly told him I was a little disappointed that he didn’t do the dishes.  That he would have to do them tomorrow because I wasn’t going to wash a second set tonight.  He said that he felt bad for not doing them.  And I told him it was ok.  I know he didn’t mean to hurt me.

The dishes were washed when I got home today.

Do you see the problem?  I was mad because I wanted something I didn’t get.   But why and where do we draw the line?  I think I should expect certain courtesies from my husband and certainly from my children (if I had any).  But my desires aren’t the same as theirs.

Try it for a few days.  No expectations.  It really does make the day go smoother.  I can hope my patients show up on time, but if I don’t expect it I wont be mad when they are 5 minutes late.  I want to make it to work on time, but I can’t get mad there is traffic if I have no expectations of the roads being wide open.  And when my husband does do the dishes I will be grateful that he has chosen to help with the chores.

No expectations.

What are some things you expect and then get mad at when it doesn’t happen and how would it make your day better to not expect those things?

About Yoga Fire Florida

This is a blog documenting my journey through Yoga Teacher Training and opening my own studio.
This entry was posted in In The Beginning, Philosophy, Required Reading and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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